It is so hard to see the reason when you are in your lowest point. It is so hard to think when you don’t even want to; when you just want to shut the world out and just let this irrevocable sadness eat you whole. It is so hard to listen when there is nothing but silence. It is so hard to believe when you are so scared.
Our little angel, you were the greatest gift God has given us. But you were taken from us too soon. To know that you were born with a heart disease was one thing, but you leaving us the next day was excruciatingly devastating. Words used to be my refuge, now I just feel empty I don’t even know if I’m saying the right thing. I just know that I need to write something or I’m going to lose it. I am immensely heartbroken.
I wish you’ve lived longer than just a day. If you did, I’d be one of those people to tell you how much your parents loved you—they always will. I’d tell you how proud your father was when he told us he was going to be a father to a bouncing baby boy. I’m pretty sure that your mother was her happiest too when she found out she’s blessed to be the one to carry you in her womb. You became the center of their lives until your last breath—you will always be even after life goes on for everyone.
I wish you’ve lived longer than just a day and we get to see you grow—your first smile, first laugh, first walk and first word. I wish you got to see the beauty of the world with you in it. I’d bet you’d be a good person because you have amazing parents. I wish you help them recover from the loss. I couldn’t imagine how much more they are grieving. You’re one of those scars that won’t heal. A good scar. That scar that will remind us that life was once kind and generous. You’re that wound that will keep on bleeding—a constant reminder that once in our lives, we were stab with such greatness.
We were so excited to see you but the world wasn’t ready for an angel like you. A literal angel that God sent but was taken too soon. You were spared before you were even destroyed—before you were even corrupted by the society; before you were even stained with sins.
I wish you’ve lived longer than just a day because you deserve so much more than that. But perhaps, we don’t deserve your soul—not just yet.
As you ascend back to Him, please carry our hearts with you.
As you flutter your cute little wings, please do know that we are more than glad to see you safe and sound up there—away from all the mundane things.
And for now, may you shine down on us. Let your smile be the light that disperse through the droplets of our tears until we create a rainbow. Help us brave this storm. Be our silver lining.
So long, our dearest. Until we meet again.
when words blend 