It is the absolute worst. To say that you are aching is an understatement. There is still no adjective in the dictionary that can describe how much it wrecked you. It may be one of those moments that words fail to give justice on what you’re feeling. I totally get you.
You must have so much going on in your head right now. What have you done wrong? Was there something you should have done but didn’t? You could have been better? You could have given more? You could have loved more? There are infinite questions that you probably wouldn’t know the answer to. The truth is, no matter how much you lack or you have given so much than necessary, no one deserves to be cheated on. NO ONE. Not a guy. Not a girl. This has nothing to do with gender. This is all about choices. Cheating is unjustifiable. If they choose to cheat, it says more about them than you. Please do not blame yourself.
I still don’t know the answer to “WHY”. That’s basically it, right? Why did they do it? Why would they choose to hurt us if they claim they love us? It doesn’t make any sense.
Why would you hurt someone you love?
I know whatever I say won’t lessen the pain but please hear me out.
I won’t tell you that you will find someone better who will see your worth. No. I don’t want you to wait for that someone. Being cheated on, you probably have your self-esteem beaten up.
“Am I not good enough?”, “Am I not pretty?”, “Should I have toned my muscles?”, “Should I have grown stubble to look more masculine?” You have now trust issues. Of course, you were taken for granted. You are allowed to feel that way. Worse is, your positive outlook in love turned into negative. That’s normal. You will get over that in your own time. You don’t have to hurry. You can also feel mad all you want. But I want to ask you, is it worth it? You already spent a part of your life (it’s not your whole life, there’s still so much ahead of you) with a wrong person, why are you still giving that cheater a power over you? You have invested so much emotions already, why do you keep exerting more, even if that’s anger? You are just wasting your time. I want to tell you this: focus on yourself. I want you to see your own worth. Be the better version of yourself not because it’s the best revenge nor for someone new you will meet in the future.; not because you are not good enough. Be the best version of yourself for you. It’s about time you think of yourself more than anyone else. It is not called selfishness nor being conceited. Life isn’t always about you but it isn’t always about other people either. Just do you.
It’s not absurd to say you will find yourself back. You lost pieces of you in that relationship that devastated your being. Fill yourself up again.
They said no man is an island but sometimes you need to brave the storm alone for you to grow. You don’t need saving, you just have to heal.
I was supposed to title this: “To The Girl Who Has Been Cheated On” but I realized that sounds sexist more than we think. Everyone gets cheated on every once in a while (not just a girl). I decided to write this after overhearing a colleague’s story of going through a break up with her long time boyfriend. It makes me sad and mad at the same time because I know the feeling. It totally sucks but it happens. I hope you don’t go through the same thing. xx