How can something upbeat make me so sad?

⚠️⚠️⚠️ I’m going to take a stroll down memory lane ⚠️⚠️⚠️

I should say that I’m a Swiftie but I don’t think I like what Taylor has become—what her songs have become.

It all started when I heard Teardrops on my Guitar on the radio. She made me pick up the guitar again. She was one of the reasons why I keep wearing my heart on my sleeve. I looked up to her so much. I grew up with her. Until I don’t know her anymore (or should I say her words. Who really knows her, anyway? I don’t. You don’t. We don’t.)

Taylor’s lyrics used to describe my exact same feelings at a certain point in time. I loved how she turned emotions into words then into a song. Songs that most of us (I guess) could relate to. She isn’t the best singer but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t sound like a whale either. I saw her views about love from the pretty naive and sweet to young and reckless to just bitter and plain pathetic. Her albums used to be soooo good. I remember A Place In This World being my anthem of some sort. Gaaah I so love her mermaid curls.

Do you remember the EP she released back in 2008? Beautiful Eyes hit straight right to the core of my teenage self.

Then, Fearless happened. Music videos of Love Story and You Belong With Me were pretty much the talk of the town.

She was awkward, wasn’t she? I LOL whenever she attempted to dance. What a cutie. How about her song about her momI had the best day with you today. I am not crying, you are.

I thought I loved her so much then but Speak Now ensued. I LOVED HER EVEN MORE. It’s my favorite album. My college friends even bought me a copy of it. My first Taylor Swift album! Jizel, another friend of mine, even gave me TS shirt (which I already donated because it doesn’t fit me now LOL)


I didn’t like Red, though. Okay, maybe I do like some songs but this is where she started changing her style. But I must say that Everything Has Changed is a holy grail. I LOVE HER FRIENDSHIP WITH ED SHEERAN. I CAN’T HELP BUT FANGIRL WHEN I THINK OF MY FAVORITE ARTISTS COLLABORATING BECAUSE HELLO?? THAT’S LIKE HEAVEN SENT?? EARGASM??

1989 was an aesthetic. I can’t remember if I really liked the songs. The thing with Taylor Swift is sometimes, even if you don’t like her song, you’re going to sing it. I don’t know if it’s just me. Ana, also a Swiftie from work at that time, always played it at the office so I know the lyrics, too. She is a bigger Swiftie than I am. I must admit that. I bought the album with her though even I find all songs from it really sad. Little did I know that when she comes back, it’s going to be even sadder.

I wasn’t able to internalized Look What You Made Me Do when I first heard it. I was just like “I think it’s okay”. When I listened again, I felt sad. I don’t even know? How much can someone take before he finally want to get rid a part of himself?


Why do you have to own every shits thrown at you, Taylor? She isn’t perfect. She can also be a bitch, sorry. She really sure does always like to be the star of the show because duh it’s her lyrics (and life) after all. I got tired of her writing songs about her exes but still, I am here. She can be very manipulative, you say but so does the media. I don’t know why everything she does causes a fuss as if she is one whole feast.

When we do right, nobody remembers. When we do wrong, nobody forgets.

Some people seem to forget that it is Hollywood. It’s the entertainment industry. We can’t completely assume that everything is true or false. Society did it to her. We did it to her. She also did it to herself. Do you see now how words can kill? Even if it’s just a single bad comment you leave in someone else’s video or profile, it can hurt deeply. It doesn’t matter who you are directing it at.

I don’t think the old Taylor is dead. She just keeps on hiding. I will wait until she finally, genuinely find her place in this world. I hope she doesn’t get lost again this time around. I think she writes songs about these people because she doesn’t really know what else to do. I’m getting that writer part of her. Sometimes, we write it down because that’s what we know we do best or just because it’s really cathartic. The thing is, she is famous. Whatever she say is like the rock bottom that people dig down so deeply.

I feel like whatever happens with Taylor Swift’s reputation, it wouldn’t change the fact that she is one of the reasons why I write my heart out today. Whatever happens, she has (somehow) made a difference in this lifetime. How about you? What did you do to make a difference? What’s the legacy you have made so far?

I just thought of ending the month with this post. I hope we all get better in dealing with people, with life, with ourselves. I hope we all find the courage to choose to be the better person. I hope we learn not to retaliate to shits thrown at us (or else it won’t really end) and just live a happy life. I wish us well. Please be well. xx

This is from the manuscript I started working on early this year. It isn’t meant to be published online because I want it to be printed out someday. But just recently, I think of changing theme. I don’t know what kind of poetry book I want to write anymore so why not just post this. I think it fits here.



8 thoughts on “WHAT DID SHE DO? WHAT DID WE DO?

  1. I think people dislike her because she can come across as disingenuous. She’s only feminist when it sells her albums. She has so much influence but she’s been silent about the real issues when it really mattered. All her friends are good looking people. I don’t know if those are real friendships though. There’s also the Tina Fey-Amy Poehler joke that she can’t ‘shake (it) off.’ She could have just laughed with it. It was a joke and really it was a good time to look at her public image. Her PR machine is good at keeping her image intact but not good enough to hide her humour-less side.

    She’s a good businesswoman though. I give her that. She’s made a win-win situation for her and streaming services after the Spotify issue. She’s most likely acquired that from her parents who both worked in finance.

    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her. I get why she’s both loved and hated at the same time. She’s just not my cup o’ tea.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaa the March parade thing issue, yes. Of course, she had to say or do something, right? Her voice matters but she didn’t. It’s just unfair on her part that when those kind of issues ensue, people attack her but people don’t really talk about how she does charity and all because she was never really out loud with it. Just like with other artists lowkey being angels.

      She sure does a good businesswoman and the strategies of them and all are so good. They really sell well.

      I totally get you, no worries! I’m just really sad (more than disappointed coz im not really) how someone I grew up loving so much turned into this

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My scheduled post for Monday is about her new song! I’m not a Swiftie and I’ll never be but this new song from her is total crap. I know what happened to her has scarred her but retaliating isn’t the best thing ever. Maybe she’s using the drama to sell more CDs or maybe it’s all just PR. I’m personally tired of it, especially how she’s saying it’s all about women empowerment when it’s really not (it’s all about her). I honestly wished she used her platform to make a change (or even just try) in Hollywood/music industry instead of adding fuel to the fire.

    I like the Old Taylor (even if I didn’t like it all that much).


  3. It makes me feel sad that she had to suffer much that her words get lesser and repetitive. It’s like the world made her to feel more until she ran out of words to say. The LWYMMD music video made me weep and miss her.

    Liked by 1 person

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