“The best thing the universe ever gave us is that we’ll all be forgotten. […] I kinda like the idea. That when we die, despite any pain or fear or embarrassment we experienced during our lives, despite any heartbreak or grief, we get to be dispersed back into nothingness. It makes me feel brave, knowing I’ll get a blank slate at the end. You get a brief glimmer of consciousness to do with what you will and then it’s given back to the universe again. I’m not religious, but even I can appreciate that that’s redemption, on the grandest scale. Oblivion isn’t scary; it’s the closest thing to genuine absolution of sin that I can imagine.”
This weekend, I went to Pampanga to get some kind of help. I did get more than what I needed—a breath of fresh air; a good soul to talk to. I am grateful enough to have my sissy in my life. I told her I’m going and then we’re out driving; heading to nowhere. It was very impulsive. We feel afloat the past months (?) that planning has been out of the picture. We just do what we think we must.
We love the sunset more than the sunrise and Junice knows a good place where we can watch it. I arrived around 2:00PM, though. It was too early for that. We decided then to go to Angeles to see Korea Town again. While we were on our way there, we filmed a Q&A. It was fun. It helped our minds divert to things that actually make sense.
KTown feels like a place I’ve always been to even it was just my second time there. Maybe because the Hangul characters are now familiar. We even tried reading the store names while we were roaming around. Instead of getting samgyeopsal (삼겹살), we just went for variety of k-snacks. We were on a tight budget. We spent less than P500. We already had our cups of iced coffee there. It’s not bad. We were grateful of what we had. We had chocolates, chips, ramyun and cookies. Sadly, there were no fish sausages available.
On our way to San Luis, we just get the video on and record our whole trip; just us talking. It was very random. Then an idea came. Being Bangtan trash that we are, we have always thought of what we will ask BTS if we’re lucky enough to meet them. Maybe not all these questions are for them, maybe some are just things that we want to ask ourselves or things we want to ask you.
We used to just writing down our thoughts. Talking about it out loud feels different but cathartic all the same. These are raw. These are unfiltered. The more we ask questions, the more we feel empty without the answers. We don’t know why we keep thinking too much and feeling too much. Perhaps, it’s our brain messing with us. It would be lovely if you can share to us your thoughts, too. It’s impossible that we are the only ones to have this kind of mindset, right?
- How do you define happiness?
- When can you say that you are happy?
- What makes your day good?
- If things keep on changing, why other people can’t believe that you can change?
- What if you don’t know if it’s night or daytime?
- How do you define things without label?
- How do you define freedom?
- How do you change the world?
- What’s your identity if you don’t have the name?
- Do you remember your earliest childhood memory?
- What’s your worst memory?
Will we ever find the answer?
I kinda changed the style of my featured image. I don’t know if you like it but I just really want to experiment just for the sake of doing something differently. Maybe this is me trying to renew myself slowly. Thank you for letting me fall and rise again. Here’s to more real and hopefully (?) positive posts like before.
Here’s to better days ahead,