Title: Your Soul Is A River
Author: Nikita Gill
This is a book about the journey of healing from trauma and becoming whole again.
Directions: apply to your soul gently, whilst sitting under the stars.
I am a sucker for poetry. I don’t know what it is with these verses that touch my soul completely. This masterpiece right here, Your Soul Is A River, is definitely a water. From the river itself, it brought me healing like how water usually does. Each poem will hit you on all the right places. It’s just so meaningful and relevant. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!
The book is divided into eight parts. I will be sharing some lines from my favorite pieces, but not the entire poem – just a snippet to make you want to read more! It really deserves the reads. It is life-changing.
1. The Cosmos — what a perfect collision of stars it was that came together at just the right moment at just the right time, to build the incredible thing that is you.
You Are The Sun
and the sun does not shine
because someone else wants it to
it shines because that
is what it was born to do.
93 Percent Stardust
we are all just stars
that have people names
It started with the cosmos and it is very fitting with the cover! It’s a river of stars, and if you’ve been here reading my crafts, you’d know how much I’m so obsessed with the idea of us sharing the same components with the stars. Ugh. I love it so much! I will sound like a broken record, I’m sorry that I am not sorry.
2. Fire — all the darkness of the night is no match for a single candle that refuses to die out.
The first page of this part got me already fired up. Yep, no pun intended. These words are burning – and not the kind of burning that will leave you to ashes; it is the burning that will light you up and maybe chase the darkness away.
Fire Is Not A Toy
they took those matches to protect you
but who is going to protect you
from the darkness
that lives inside of you?
This piece is about how the old folks tell us not to play with the matches; with fire. I love how Nikita got to twist the meaning of flame into something more relevant to oneself. Fire is often associated with romantic desire, but we should be more focused on the blaze of our passion that is our dreams. Let us glow.
It also talks about how human heart is the most flammable in the world and if that does not make you think, I don’t know what will.
3. The Storm — a hurricane never apologises for the chaos it leaves in its wake.
This chapter really intrigued me. It is very thought-provoking. Sure, the storm just leave the casualty behind without turning back. Should we do the same? Should we just walk away after the havoc? Then, it all made sense as I read on.
some people are born with
tornados in their lives,
but constellations in their eyes.
other people are born
with stars at their feet,
but their souls are lost at sea
I’m still thinking how I will put my interpretation of this into words. I feel like it is one of those feelings that you can’t tell others because you know they won’t just get it. Do you want to interpret this as well? Let me know what you think of these lines!
you carry both lightning and thunder
in that space between your bones and soul.
become the storm you are hiding from;
a hurricane does not run from the rain.
The first one I thought of after reading this was a friend of mine. She hates the rain and I love it. So, I sent it and half jokingly said, do not run from the rain! I understand, though. I always ask her to send the clouds my way if it rains where she lives, and there is a freaking sunshine here.
tell me is today the day
you finally learn to love yourself?
THIS HITS HOME!!!!!!! So, is your answer a yes? I’d say we love ourselves enough to live. I mean, there will be days that I don’t want to but I get by, anyway.
4. Ache — these aren’t scars. these are stories.
Some people would say that there is no beauty in pain, sure. Let me tell you something I prayed for the other day, though. I thanked god for my stars and how they are so complicated but beautiful nonetheless. I thanked god for the pain and struggles (not that I want it lol you can have it – and it’s not like I believe that god was the one who makes me suffer. Of course not, it is me who brought myself here – but anyway you know those pain that you have no idea why you are even hurting, that kind of pain) I have a new article up on Thought Catalog: I Want To Live. The day it was published someone emailed me and I really bawled my eyes out. He told me to not give in; that he hoped that I find happiness and peace and that I live. You see, if I was not hurting, I won’t be able to write those; I won’t be able to connect. I want to reach out to people. It makes the pain worthwhile. It is not pretty but it is worth it. I am in peace, Josh. If you are reading this, thank you so much. You made me think again about my purpose 🙂
These next poems speak to me so much.
Four Poems About Chaos
some people survive chaos
and that is how they grow
and some people thrive in chaos,
because chaos is all they know
the thing with numbness is,
it gets into your skin,
travels down your veins and into your heart.
the thing with grief is,
it never completely goes away,
no matter how numb you are
to be saved
or anyone else.
All we can hope for
in this life
is a chance
to be able
to save ourselves.
I always say that you can’t save someone who does not want to be saved. We can only do so much for people, but at the end of the day, the choice is still theirs. I hope we always choose life.
5. The Sea, The River, The Ocean – I have learned to fear the water as much as love her for she is in every corner in every essence of me
I would say that this is my personal favorite – I know perfectly well how it is to drown.
The thing is,
you can’t save people
because they will
just grab hold of you
like you are a lifeline,
you will both
and neither of you
There is only one way
to save someone
and that is
to teach them
how to swim.
Some people grow entire oceans
inside themselves instead of hearts.
It’s why they have more love to
give than anyone can ever return.
it’s why they awaken sometimes
to heartache and tear soaked pillows.
sometimes it is a blessing to love something
so much more than you love yourself.
sometimes it is a curse to love anything
so much more than you love yourself.
I hope we can find the balance and that we all learn how to swim, if not breathe underwater.
6. Wild — if you love a wild thing, have the courage to leave it as wild as you found it
your love was born in the wild,
growing from the soft earth
surrounded by trees
that were surrounded by stars.
that is why the forest
has such a hold on you.
that is why sometimes it feels
like the moon knows your name
If you are the person who does not connect with the moon, well, I don’t know. Children of the moon will get this. I’m a Taurus moon and I felt this so much as if the nature is me.
7. Earth — imagine how much more you would feel for her, if you knew that the earth has a heartbeat
I’ve been trying to be mindful of my carbon footprint because I believe that taking care of our Mother Earth is a form of self-care. We are the Nature.
The Earth and the Ocean
I wonder if the earth
ever heard the ocean
cry for the people she lost
when they drowned
inside her depths
When It Feels Like The End
you have the same strength in you
that makes the phoenix rise
from the flames
I can’t remember where I include these words in my old blog post: from death, comes rebirth. So now, we go to the last part which is to heal.
8. Heal – Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go.
You do not belong to the monster
that hides inside your chest.
it belongs to you
and you belong to yourself.
It is a personal attack to my mental state. It reminds me of my blog post before about living fiercely and fighting anxiety. I still read it up to these days when I need the reminder.
They only succeed
in stealing your voice
if you give them
by silencing yourself.
You know how other people say that things happen for a reason? It is true, but sometimes, things happen because we let it. Choose your fight well.
When every part of you
aches with loneliness,
seek no one else.
now is the time
to seek yourself.
We need to feel all these emotions before we can let them go. Ah, I will live by all these words for the rest of eternity.
Nikita also ended the book with ‘may you have a thousand good beginnings.’ It is so heartfelt 😌😌
This book also inspired the first fanfiction I wrote and finished. Let me end this review by sharing you the last part of the epilogue I penned:
It was silent except for the sound of the river rippling through the unknown. It did not mind the past—it just carried on. It was the same river, but never the same water. It was healed.
Thank you for reading! If my words reach you somehow, I hope you can support me by donating either through Ko-Fi or Paypal. I appreciate you lots.