The other day, we overheard a conversation that really did something with my emotions. I heard this girl crying, and I started crying too.
Apparently, she found out that her partner is having this flirty conversation with another girl. The guy kept saying that it is nothing even after he got caught. The next thing I know, I was back 5 years ago when someone cheated on me too. It is like I felt the pain again when the girl started to fire questions:
What did I do for you to do this?
Why are you doing this?
Am I not enough?
I asked myself why was I crying when I have already moved on? I should not be crying over it after all these years, right? I no longer cry over the person. I don’t even remember some of the memories now, the details, the dates, every moment that I used to know by heart. I can already talk about the person without me being mad and bitter or even sad.
I realized that it is because the matter of cheating goes beyond your relationship and the person that did it to you. It’s not about them anymore. It is just you and not knowing what to do with the memory and the way it made you feel at the time. It made you question your worth and value as a person. You feel wronged for allowing them to make you feel that way. And you can’t even forgive yourself for “not knowing any better” or “finding out sooner” because it is never your fault. So, I think it is just kind of stuck in place even after you have forgiven them. Like an old piece of writing you forgot you have written and you just get reminded when you flip through the pages again. It is not really there but it still exists somehow, holding a part of your life but no longer a part of it.
Or maybe it is just really me being emotional and wired differently that I cry when people cry. 😂
On that same day, Taylor Swift announced that she is going to release the new version of Fearless. When I heard Love Story (Taylor’s Version), it reminded me of being young, recklessly falling in love, regretfully falling out of it, and one sudden break up on Christmas Day. It is the song that just takes you back to those naïve yet blooming days of your high school life. It is truly an experience. So so nostalgic.
I will always be forever in awe when I think about how much we are capable of loving even after being hurt; of giving without expecting anything in return. I hope we do not let others ruin what love is for us. Do not spread yourself thin for love, let it fill you up. Your love story is your life. I hope you we stay in love with it.
Happy Valentine’s Day! If you can’t send me flowers or chocolates, please buy me a coffee instead. That’s better. 🤎
I hope my words reach you,
[Featured Image from @HidasElama]