because I need distraction at 2am vol. 10 | the last

I was watching an anime and something stuck with me. It is said there that as we grow older, the more it gets hard for tears to come out no matter how heavy we feel. And I thought maybe that’s why some of us write, to somehow release the baggage. So, here’s an attempt.

5. What do you believe that no longer serves you? What do you believe that might be holding you back?

One of my coping mechanisms is to think that things would no longer matter in 5 to 10 years time, especially when I am in a grave situation. It kept me going. Sometimes, it felt like a false hope but it helped me pushed forward. Sure, it is fine to think that way in a lighter situations, maybe? But there are things that you just carry with you forever. Myself, it is always myself that holds me back.

4. What makes your heart sing loudest? What makes your heart beat strongest?

To be honest, I don’t know anymore. But I would like to think it’s learning. I love learning. I am currently studying Korean ‘properly’, and it makes me excited when I learn new stuff. Also, nature!! Okay I love prompts because I think better. Nature. I miss nature. I am truly happy when I see the open sky and the mountains and the trees. I miss the ocean too. :((

3. If you were unapologetically and truly yourself, day in and day out, and if you fully accepted and loved yourself, what would change for you moving forward?

Hard to answer because I don’t know what it’s like. 😂 Does being unapologetically and truly yourself mean you get to do what you want or say whatever the things you want to say without considering what others might feel? What if your ‘true’ self is something you don’t like?

2. What are you best at, and what do you love doing most, and how could you spend more time doing both?

If you have asked me 3 years ago, I would say writing. I don’t think I am best at it, though. Not that it’s a bad thing. Not being the best at something is okay, I believe writing is something we get to improve on and be better at hopefullyㅡin time and with practice. I have the time to write, I just don’t want to think most days.

1. If you had a magic wand, and could wave away your problems, what would your life look like? What’s stopping you from being the wand?

My brain. My brain is stopping me from being the wand.

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After 3 years, I am finally done with this blog series. 50 questions in 3 years because I’m inconsistent like that. 😂 So, did it make me feel better? I think I have a headache from too much thinking. LOL I’m glad I made the effort, though.

Thank you for reading! 🤎 Please help me keep this blog running

[Featured image from 알레프 Fall In Love Again MV]